Screwed.edu
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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