She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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