Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
