How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
