the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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