You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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