marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
