you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize