we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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