She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
