in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
