Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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