There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
