Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
