is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
