ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
