I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We have started to decorate penises.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
