I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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