you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
