you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is wine microwaveable?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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