Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
