The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
