Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's like heaven, but drunker
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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