i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
