i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
