i just wanna soil my oats bro
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
