He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
