my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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