"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
