whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
