I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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