I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
