i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
