woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
