I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
