i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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