I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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