He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
