Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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