hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
