He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
