Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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