You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
