At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
