im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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