My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
