Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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