White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
