awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
