Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
