She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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