You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
