cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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