garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
