there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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