I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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