Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
