WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
