So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
This is my gift to your gina
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
