I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
