Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize