Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
