I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
