I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
