somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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