I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
