I accidentally burped into my bong.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
