I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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