I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize